Monday, 14 November 2016

Life Lately

Hi lovelies. If you follow me on Twitter you may have noticed that I posted last week about taking a little break from social media and blogging so I thought I'd write a post to explain everything that has been going on recently.

Unfortunately last month in October I decided to withdraw from my university course. I'd just started the masters part of my course and after a lot of tears one evening just a few weeks into the first term I came to the conclusion that it wasn't for me. I'd realised the day before that I no longer wanted to go into the career I was doing the masters part of my course for and as this academic year turned out to be so incredibly difficult, I decided that I didn't want to put myself through an additional year of stress and a larger loan repayment just for the sake of it, especially as I'll already be leaving with a decent undergraduate degree anyway.

After I quit I rang up Student Finance to make sure my university had told them that I'd withdrawn and I checked with the person I spoke to that the money I received that term already would be added onto my main loan repayment which they confirmed. However a few weeks later I received some letters in the post telling me that I owed them over £1,000 immediately. Obviously I started panicking as I'm only on about £320 a month with my current part-time job so there was no way I'd be able to afford to pay that all in one go. Luckily as my Mum pointed out that the letter also stated that if you couldn't make the payment immediately, they'd work out a repayment option with you that you could afford and that they'd probably either let me add it onto my existing loan like I'd been led to believe was going to happen anyway, or let me repay something very small like £5 a month, considering my current financial circumstances,

Feeling a lot calmer I gave them a call to sort it out and when I told the person I spoke to that I wouldn't be able to pay the total in one go, they started asking me about my monthly incomings and outgoings to work out how much I could afford to repay per month. This took me by surprise as I hadn't expected to go through this with them on the phone and unfortunately I got a lot of the figures wrong as I was trying to work out everything from memory and it came back that I could afford to pay them £60 a month. With my £320 earnings and bills this was way more than I could comfortably afford so I almost broke down in tears on the phone. Thankfully the guy let me go after I said I'd call them back.

I'd already not been feeling great since I've left uni but this added stress just took me over the edge. Fortunately I've already got a plan for next year as hopefully around April I'll be able to move up country to live with my boyfriend and find a full-time job and then after that we're going to look at going to somewhere in Asia to teach English for a while, but until then I've been feeling a little lost and like a failure for quitting my course.

My Mum helped me write a letter to Student Finance stating my incomings and outgoings more accurately and suggesting a lot lower, and more affordable repayment which hopefully will sort this issue out but I had to take a break from blogging and social media as my mood was already so low, and sometimes the pressure from these can make me feel even worse.

It's going to take a while for my mood to bounce back but even in the week I was away from my blog and Twitter etc. I found I really missed them! Aside from the occasional bloggers' blues, I realised that I really do love blogging still and I've already managed to plan out posts for the rest of November and December. So hopefully things should go back to normal from here!

Sorry for this long, rambly post! I've not done anything like this before but I wanted to get everything out so you guys can understand why I might be a little less brighter than usual for the next few months. It's so easy with the internet to put on a brave front and try to carry on like normal but sometimes its good to share what's really going on.

"Life is composed of lights and shadows, and we would be untruthful, insincere, and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows." - Walt Disney

P.S. I know that what I've been going through these past few months for me is certainly not the worst thing in the world but I wrote this post as more as an explanation, rather than to seek sympathy or anything like that!
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4 comments

  1. It's good that you have realised it is not for you so early on and try not to let yourself get down about that! This happened to me when I withdrawn from my University course in January, I am still paying back like £30 per month because of it but at least I know I am not going to get myself in more debt doing a course I don't like. The other cloud to this situation is that your mum is really helpful and at least you have your part time job to keep you going and motivated. I hope things get better soon :) xx

    Yasmina | The July Journal

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    1. Aaah thanks so much for commenting lovely, it's SO nice to know that I'm not alone in this! I hope you get yours paid off soon! xxx

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  2. I hope you're feeling much better about your decision now, and you should never feel like a failure for deciding against something that you feel is not for you. You've already worked so hard to get your undergrad degree - so just focus on what you've already achieved! Everything will work out with SF, and then you can focus on making a life with your bf and experiencing some amazing things together abroad! It's so great that you've got that plan in place, so just focus on that :)
    Hope you're starting to feel like yourself again xxx

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    1. Aaah thank you so much for your kind words lovely, I think I do focus on the negatives too much sometimes so thank you for reminding me to look at the positives instead <3 xx

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